Holiday trauma

Unfortunately cancer doesn’t give a fuck if it’s a holiday. Sometimes days that are supposed to be fun end up being something hurtful or a memory that we don’t really know how to handle. My late husband was going through a new chemo when his stomach ruptured and he needed to go in for a emergency ileostomy. The odds of him surviving were almost impossible yet somehow he did. Well while he was recovering in ICU he asked his mom if she could get his card to order me flowers for Valentines day. How sweet, it was his last Valentines day gift he ever gave me and it was extremely special because he usually wasn’t big on gifts. But one thing that bugged me was his mom insisted on paying and wouldn’t let him pay. He told me because he thought it was weird. She had flown down to help, we were sitting out on the patio and she said to me you know I paid for those flowers, I thought wow why take away from his last sweet gesture by trying to take credit when he insisted to pay but you wouldn’t let him. I mean he was literally bed ridden. Anyways one more memory I try to forget but also never will. Happy Valentines day. #youngandwidowed